Shake it Out

It's been a few months now since I completed my Discipleship Training School with YWAM in Australia. 
Over the course of those 6 months, I experienced so many breakthroughs and opportunities for growth (whether as an individual, as a group, or seen in other individuals and groups), and I have found it hard to put into words for quite some time now! 


The next few postings that I put on my blog will be in reference to the things that I learned during that time. I am doing this for two reasons: 1) To help myself process and solidify the things that impacted me during that time, and 2) To help others learn and understand a bigger picture about the journey that I have been on in my own faith journey over the last few months. Thanks for coming along the journey with me. :)




------Shake it Out------


So many of us go through life carrying around the weight of all the junk of life, often times unaware of how much it truly is holding us back and weighing us down. We feel the burdens and bitterness of things from the past, ways that people have hurt us, bad choices that continue to haunt and hold on to us. Sometimes, we even get to the point when we don't know what it feels like any more to walk without the weight of those burdens upon us everyday. It becomes the norm. We become oblivious. We walk around from day to day with chains wrapped around our ankles...dragging them from place to place, and situation to situation. Life begins to feel mediocre...boring...sometimes, we even begin to feel useless and complacent...Or at least this is how I felt at one point in my life...


During the second week of lectures in my DTS, we had Ken Mulligan, the leader of our base, who came in to teach and lead discussions about what we called "Clear Conscience."


To try to summarize as simply and clearly as possible, this week came down to the focus of dealing with our past...past sins, regrets, things that we have shamefully hidden from others, even avoided to admit to God (even though God already knows what we have been through and done). We were encouraged to deal with and admit these things before other believers, and before God. The point of doing this was not to embarass us, or to make us feel bad about ourselves, but to allow God deeper into our hearts and to help us find more freedom and truth in who we were created to be...and to walk in that fullness.


When we carry around all of this junk from day to day, it can be crippling, and keep us from seeing greater needs around us. We can become very self-focused and lose track of our true identity. It not only holds us back, but will hold others back around us as well. And Jesus died on the cross so we can have freedom! Not just for eternity in Heaven, but from day to day and moment by moment on this earth too!


So for me, some of the things that I confessed and prayed about that week were about a few of my sins that I have struggled with...


I have been one to walk around with discontentment in my heart...always wanting more, never having enough, always wanting what others have, struggling to truly be happy for others...feeling sorry for myself, feeling worthless, feeling shame for poor choices I've made at points in my life, and the list goes on. 


I thought I would feel extremely embarassed after sharing, but the opposite happened! My heart felt lighter. I prayed to God about my ungratefulness and discontentment...I admitted that I felt sorry for myself, instead of seeing all that I have been blessed with in life. I prayed for a grateful heart, to find contentment in Him, and I prayed for God to pull out a deep root of bitterness that I have carried for far too long in my life. 


Here are a few lyrics in a song that maybe helps explain the way one feels when we carry around shame, guilt, ungratefulness, discontentment...any kind of sin, really...


"Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn


And I've been fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn


Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa


And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn"


I really do believe that God has plans for my life, but Satan has plans as well. Satan likes to steal kill, and destroy...divide and subtract. Jesus came so that we can have life and have it to the full! God wants to add and multiply in our lives. It's a wrestling match really. They both want us to follow their plans. And I choose God's plan for my life. I choose to have hope and freedom from all of the things that kept me trapped in a pit of despair, self-pity, ungratefulness. 


To explain the freedom I have begun to walk in from those areas of my life is pretty difficult to put into words. But I will tell you that now I feel lighter in my heart, able to receive and enjoy the blessings God has for me. I am able to see who God truly made me to be. I no longer have to believe lies that Satan has thrown at me, trying to make me feel inadequate. I am a daughter of the King, a child of God, one who chooses freedom!


So now, picture with me if you will, a person sitting in a prison cell. The chains are gone from around the person's ankle. Anything that previously restricted that person has now been lifted off. Yet, the person sits in the cell, unaware of what to do with this new freedom. 


This was Clear Conscience week for me. I began to trade in some of the junk for new freedom. I had open spaces that started to form in my heart...room for God to fill my heart even more. It was a challenge to let go of those things, because some of us can get quite comfortable in our "junk" of life. But I'll tell you what...if you want to really do some Spring cleaning, start with your heart. 


My challenge and encouragement to you is to take some time to ask God what it is that you might need to let go of in your heart. You might say that you are happy for someone, or say that you don't have anything undealt with. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to light anything that is holding you back from getting closer to God. 


It is one thing to say something, but it is another to truly live and believe what we say. Are the things you say and believe flowing out truthfully from your heart? If not, ask God to help you to truly mean what you say. 


The freedom that I feel is for everyone, but it's a choice for each individual. Are you tired of carrying around some of the junk? Are you tired of believing lies about who God created you to be? 


God is waiting...his love is constant and unchanging. He already knows every last thing about us...all you have to do is talk with him and listen to him about it. Ask him to renew your mind and heart. He loves you so much...and he wants each of us to truly be free! 


Are you ready to shake it out?
Are you ready to not only have the chains removed?Are you ready to walk out of that prison cell, and into a free and beautiful place that God has for you? 


His plans are there. They are good! He is good.
Are you ready for more?